Saturday, July 29
Thursday, July 27
A Question to Tell You #9
Pete: Can you play with me?
Heather: Not right now, bud, I need to clean up this room.
Pete: Mom, you don't have to just clean every second.
Heather: Not right now, bud, I need to clean up this room.
Pete: Mom, you don't have to just clean every second.
Monday, July 24
Uncovery #5
I could use some of this action. This weekend, I weighed myself at Drivers License minus 15 pounds.
via Boing Boing
Friday, July 21
Udaman!
I have absolutely no interest in being "the man."
That guy at the bus station with the long jet-black permed hair, wearing a muscle shirt (cropped above the belly button) over genuine unnaturally large muscles, with jeans that are tight on top, baggy around the knees and tight again at the ankles: He was the man sometime around 1984.
The runner, with his grey mane of hair flowing behind him, who is wearing only running shorts (the old, tiny kind that show an abundance of side thigh) and shoes: He was the man in 1978.
The thick neck who's sitting one booth over with his hat on backwards, talking about his fantasy football draft to his wife, who's looking at her menu: he was the man a few years ago.
As soon as you say "I'm the man," time clamps down, and you're instantly not the man anymore. Forever.
So, if I'm ever acting like the man, grab my forearm or chin, and tell me forcefully "You don't want this."
That guy at the bus station with the long jet-black permed hair, wearing a muscle shirt (cropped above the belly button) over genuine unnaturally large muscles, with jeans that are tight on top, baggy around the knees and tight again at the ankles: He was the man sometime around 1984.
The runner, with his grey mane of hair flowing behind him, who is wearing only running shorts (the old, tiny kind that show an abundance of side thigh) and shoes: He was the man in 1978.
The thick neck who's sitting one booth over with his hat on backwards, talking about his fantasy football draft to his wife, who's looking at her menu: he was the man a few years ago.
As soon as you say "I'm the man," time clamps down, and you're instantly not the man anymore. Forever.
So, if I'm ever acting like the man, grab my forearm or chin, and tell me forcefully "You don't want this."
Wednesday, July 19
A Question to Tell You #8
A good big brother, or a little unsettling?
Me: What did you do today?
Pete: We took Nora to the doctor.
Me: Oh, what did you do there?
Pete: They kinda gave her some shots.
Me: How did you feel about that?
Pete: I think I just felt angry.
Me: What did you do today?
Pete: We took Nora to the doctor.
Me: Oh, what did you do there?
Pete: They kinda gave her some shots.
Me: How did you feel about that?
Pete: I think I just felt angry.
Tuesday, July 18
Action Shots #10
On a first birthday, it's all pretty much a build-up to watching the yearling eat cake.
Saturday, July 15
Happy Birthday Nora
July 15 2005
August 15 2005
September 3 2005
October 8 2005
November 20 2005
December 6 2005
January 8 2006
February 23 2006
March 7 2006
April 18 2006
May 1 2006
June 16 2006
July 15 2006
Thursday, July 13
A Question to Tell You #7
Tonight, Pete was unable to go when we sat him down for the before-bed potty.
Pete: Maybe my penis is just sad.
Me: Oh, why would it be so sad?
Pete: I think it's too tired.
Sadly, I know the feeling.
Pete: Maybe my penis is just sad.
Me: Oh, why would it be so sad?
Pete: I think it's too tired.
Sadly, I know the feeling.
Wednesday, July 12
A Question to Tell You #6
Yes, we spank our kids. Well, only Pete so far, but I'm sure Nora will grow into it in a couple of years.
We also feed them french fries, let them watch cartoons, give them baths less than daily, and sometimes say "not right now" when Pete asks sweetly if we'll play with him.
I know, these things would put us on lots of bad parent lists, but we have no guilt. We were young and idealistic once too, but once you have kids of your own - I hate to use that phrase - you understand that idealism compromises with survivalism minute to minute.
But Pete has implemented a new spanking strategy that is particularly sophisticated. We give him the warnings, employ other means of showing our disapproval (denial of things, time outs, etc.). When all diplomatic means are exhausted, we tell him that he's going to get a spanking. We usually let him stew for a little bit, to show him that it's not angry, rash behavior on our part, and because the psychological impact of waiting for the spanking is where the actual discipline happens.
Today, he got quiet, and said, "I think it's okay if you give me a spanking". Then later "I don't care if you give me a spanking. I don't mind." Not crying or wailing or yelling, just matter of fact, like "I don't care if I have milk or water."
So, we got home, Heather took him to his room, and he was acting very sweet, wanting hugs and such, and she told him that she had to give him a spanking now, and he just said "Ok mom".
Later I went to talk with him about it, and asked if he had gotten a spanking, and he said "Yes, but I didn't care."
How the hell do you work with that? I don't think it's possible that he really doesn't care. But then does that mean that he has learned some pretty advanced manipulation? This is reverse psychology like Brer Rabbit and the briar patch. Next, he'll probably tell us that he really likes getting spankings, and "Oh no, Daddy, don't feed me that ice cream, I really don't like eating ice cream."
We also feed them french fries, let them watch cartoons, give them baths less than daily, and sometimes say "not right now" when Pete asks sweetly if we'll play with him.
I know, these things would put us on lots of bad parent lists, but we have no guilt. We were young and idealistic once too, but once you have kids of your own - I hate to use that phrase - you understand that idealism compromises with survivalism minute to minute.
But Pete has implemented a new spanking strategy that is particularly sophisticated. We give him the warnings, employ other means of showing our disapproval (denial of things, time outs, etc.). When all diplomatic means are exhausted, we tell him that he's going to get a spanking. We usually let him stew for a little bit, to show him that it's not angry, rash behavior on our part, and because the psychological impact of waiting for the spanking is where the actual discipline happens.
Today, he got quiet, and said, "I think it's okay if you give me a spanking". Then later "I don't care if you give me a spanking. I don't mind." Not crying or wailing or yelling, just matter of fact, like "I don't care if I have milk or water."
So, we got home, Heather took him to his room, and he was acting very sweet, wanting hugs and such, and she told him that she had to give him a spanking now, and he just said "Ok mom".
Later I went to talk with him about it, and asked if he had gotten a spanking, and he said "Yes, but I didn't care."
How the hell do you work with that? I don't think it's possible that he really doesn't care. But then does that mean that he has learned some pretty advanced manipulation? This is reverse psychology like Brer Rabbit and the briar patch. Next, he'll probably tell us that he really likes getting spankings, and "Oh no, Daddy, don't feed me that ice cream, I really don't like eating ice cream."
Monday, July 10
Friday, July 7
An Interrogative to Disclose to You #5
Tonight, within the span of 5 minutes, Pete said the following to me:
"I don't want to use that train, it would be too difficult"
"I think that's a good observation"
Yay, he's already using unnecessarily complex vocabulary! Next, he'll start replacing the word "use" with "utilize". If we're lucky, he'll start saying "I'm going to utilize the most proximate lavatory" instead of "I want to use the nearest potty"
"I don't want to use that train, it would be too difficult"
"I think that's a good observation"
Yay, he's already using unnecessarily complex vocabulary! Next, he'll start replacing the word "use" with "utilize". If we're lucky, he'll start saying "I'm going to utilize the most proximate lavatory" instead of "I want to use the nearest potty"
Thursday, July 6
The Fish Stays in the Picture #1
The best wife ever took the best kids in the world on a road trip last week to South Dakota, along with her mom and sister and her sister's son. I, sadly, had to work and missed out on the untouchable joy of a 12 hour road trip with 4 women in 3 generations and two three year old boys.
I wallowed at home, sleeping at my leisure, enjoying long stints of uninterrupted yardwork, taking long runs in the mountains, and remembering how smoothly life goes when there are no kids. Here was one evening's itinerary:
7:11:00- Decide to see a horror movie that starts at 7:35.
7:11:15 - Leave the house.
7:24:00 - Arrive at Chipotle.
7:26:00 - Start eating
7:31:00 - Finish my burrito (a rate of roughly 220 calories per minute)
7:36:00 - Arrive at theatre
It was rough.
Actually, I'm being sarcastic, but I'm also not, because it actually was rough. I'm fully into the role of dad and husband now. My family is my structure, and without structure I slouch like a some kind of blobby animal without a skeleton. Like a slime mold. I had no idea what to do with myself most of the time. I aimlessly surfed the internet. I went to bed too late. I woke up too late. I constantly stopped what I was doing because I thought I heard Nora crying in the other room. I ironed badly. I ate 85% french fries.
I was relieved to get my family back, because it felt right, and although it was busier, I could finally relax.
While on the trip, Pete went fishing for the first time with his great-grandpa Hub. Apparently, the boys' enthusiasm waned markedly after they caught an ugly, scabby, half-eaten fish. But Hub was intent on getting pictures of everyone with the fish, so he kept sneaking it into pictures already in progress.
I wallowed at home, sleeping at my leisure, enjoying long stints of uninterrupted yardwork, taking long runs in the mountains, and remembering how smoothly life goes when there are no kids. Here was one evening's itinerary:
7:11:00- Decide to see a horror movie that starts at 7:35.
7:11:15 - Leave the house.
7:24:00 - Arrive at Chipotle.
7:26:00 - Start eating
7:31:00 - Finish my burrito (a rate of roughly 220 calories per minute)
7:36:00 - Arrive at theatre
It was rough.
Actually, I'm being sarcastic, but I'm also not, because it actually was rough. I'm fully into the role of dad and husband now. My family is my structure, and without structure I slouch like a some kind of blobby animal without a skeleton. Like a slime mold. I had no idea what to do with myself most of the time. I aimlessly surfed the internet. I went to bed too late. I woke up too late. I constantly stopped what I was doing because I thought I heard Nora crying in the other room. I ironed badly. I ate 85% french fries.
I was relieved to get my family back, because it felt right, and although it was busier, I could finally relax.
While on the trip, Pete went fishing for the first time with his great-grandpa Hub. Apparently, the boys' enthusiasm waned markedly after they caught an ugly, scabby, half-eaten fish. But Hub was intent on getting pictures of everyone with the fish, so he kept sneaking it into pictures already in progress.
Wednesday, July 5
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