Yes, we spank our kids. Well, only Pete so far, but I'm sure Nora will grow into it in a couple of years.
We also feed them french fries, let them watch cartoons, give them baths less than daily, and sometimes say "not right now" when Pete asks sweetly if we'll play with him.
I know, these things would put us on lots of bad parent lists, but we have no guilt. We were young and idealistic once too, but once you have kids of your own - I hate to use that phrase - you understand that idealism compromises with survivalism minute to minute.
But Pete has implemented a new spanking strategy that is particularly sophisticated. We give him the warnings, employ other means of showing our disapproval (denial of things, time outs, etc.). When all diplomatic means are exhausted, we tell him that he's going to get a spanking. We usually let him stew for a little bit, to show him that it's not angry, rash behavior on our part, and because the psychological impact of waiting for the spanking is where the actual discipline happens.
Today, he got quiet, and said, "I think it's okay if you give me a spanking". Then later "I don't care if you give me a spanking. I don't mind." Not crying or wailing or yelling, just matter of fact, like "I don't care if I have milk or water."
So, we got home, Heather took him to his room, and he was acting very sweet, wanting hugs and such, and she told him that she had to give him a spanking now, and he just said "Ok mom".
Later I went to talk with him about it, and asked if he had gotten a spanking, and he said "Yes, but I didn't care."
How the hell do you work with that? I don't think it's possible that he really doesn't care. But then does that mean that he has learned some pretty advanced manipulation? This is reverse psychology like Brer Rabbit and the briar patch. Next, he'll probably tell us that he really likes getting spankings, and "Oh no, Daddy, don't feed me that ice cream, I really don't like eating ice cream."
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i wouldn't vote you off the parent island for spankings. First i greatly respect your thinking behind discipline, that it is not a rash acting out discipline, as is often the case with the"bad parents", because it's basically a mild and justified form of beatings when it is done out of anger toward the childs actions. You have a great parental brain my friend, and the way you state it makes any parent hope to implement that sort of disciplinary action. Of course the parents are not the only ones working the mind games and trickery. Oh, the elusive and mysterious brain of a young child ... we don't give them enough credit for the intricate ways they scheme. Clever blogging as always my good sir. Here is to idealistic young parents wising up and witting young lads doing the same.
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